Service for Eveline Hooper

Entry music: Young at Heart – Michael Bublé & then Graham, Kurtis, Mark & Alexander shoulder the coffin.

Welcome and introduction – celebrant

Welcome everyone, thank you for being here.

We are here to say farewell to, and celebrate the life of, Eveline Hooper: nurse, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, loyal friend, and neighbour.

My name is Viv Thomas, and I am a humanist funeral celebrant. Humanists believe we should treat our fellows with kindness and respect and that human life has value in and of itself. Valuing the preciousness of human life became Eveline’s life’s work, working as a nurse, ward sister, and in the community as a district nurse.

The music you heard at the beginning of the service was Young At Heart, sung by Michael Bublé. The lyrics of that song have special meaning today. Eveline was someone who stayed young at heart throughout her long life.

This ceremony is an opportunity for us to come together to share not only our sadness and how much Eveline will be missed, but also to celebrate Eveline’s life in a way that is sincere and straightforward. Eveline did not want a religious service, this gathering today will be warm, respectful and will focus on Eveline, her life and legacy.

We start with a reading then a tribute to Eveline. Obviously condensing her full life into a few minutes is challenging, but there will also be time to expand on stories at the reception after this service.

Eveline’s family have sourced some wonderful photos from throughout Eveline’s life which we will watch accompanied by another very apt piece of music, The Circle of Life.

There will then be a chance to hear Eveline described and remembered by her family and friends with words from the many messages and cards received.

After this there is a time for reflection as we listen to a recording of Eveline’s late brother Dennis singing ‘Ol’ Man River’ solo. As a congregation we can then sing together, All Things Bright and Beautiful, chosen by the family. The words are in the order of service.

This poem, written for the 60th anniversary of The National Health Service, epitomises Eveline’s dedication to the NHS, her career and the people she cared for.

Tribute: Eveline’s life and influence – celebrant

‘Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident. It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice. Choose to live a life that matters, these words by Michael Josephson could have been written with Eveline in mind.

Eveline Hooper led a full and good life, she found real satisfaction in her job, built a great network of friends and adored her family. Surprisingly she was quite shy and at times had to force herself into being social. That said she loved being a part of everything.

Born in Barnet to Clifford, a headteacher and his wife, Beatrice, Eveline was the baby of three children. She had two siblings, both brothers. The eldest, also named Clifford, and Dennis, whose voice we will hear singing later. Beatrice, her mother was also the baby of her family, but she was the youngest of thirteen.

Her parents lived through two world wars and Eveline was only eight years old when World War Two was declared. War was still raging when she was cycling to East Barnet grammar school, in New Barnet, all the way from High Barnet. Cycling for a purpose had run in the family. Her father, Clifford, had once cycled from Wales to London for a job!

Eveline began her nursing training in 1949, one year after the NHS was founded. As was the rule in those days she lived in the nurses’ home. She nursed in the North Middlesex Hospital, and other hospitals, working her way up to being a ward sister at Highlands Hospital with all the responsibilities that entails. Eveline valued the difference she could make as a nurse and enjoyed working with colleagues from all over the world, including nurses and orderlies from the Windrush generation. By the nineteen seventies she had already lived through four significant decades.

In 1976 Eveline qualified as a district nurse. She worked in this fulfilling role for 17 years. In Jan’s words, nursing and her career defined her. Even after district nursing Eveline was part of the staff for a local chest clinic for TB.

Eveline’s career did not stop her from being a dedicated family woman. Two devoted children, four loving grandchildren and now three great grandchildren are testimony to her role as the Hooper matriarch being as important to her as nursing.

She and Brian James Hooper met in a dance hall in Southgate, Eveline being the prettiest girl there! They were married from 1952 until 1992. There is a photo of the young couple with Dennis showing how stylish they all were in their youth.

Their two children, Jan and Graham have wanted this service to reflect Eveline’s love for her family as well as her dedication to her career and her fierce independence. This love is reciprocated across the generations. This ceremony reminds us how she lived with life with style, interest in everything and commitment to her principles. From saving to buy her own house to still reading the newspaper every day for the puzzles as well as the news – on her iPad!

Always very proud of her children, Eveline would celebrate their achievements and be supportive of the family’s choices. More on her relationship with football later.

Eveline adored her four grandchildren: Jan & Ian’s twins, Mark and Alexander born in 1989, Graham and Marya’s Rachael, born in 1995 and Kurtis born in 1998. She was a big part of their lives, very close to all her grandchildren and they close to her.

Their partners have become close too and not just because of the arrival of the great grandchildren.

Vanessa, Kayleigh, Harry and Toni all got know and love Eveline. In fact Mark and Kayleigh have a friendly rivalry as to was Grandma’s senior tech support. Eveline had studied computers when they first came out, moved seamlessly into using an iPad, and having the mobile phone in hospital meant she was able to keep in touch using facetime and the latest technology. Young at heart with a switched-on mind.

Kurtis and Toni’s daughters, her eldest great granddaughters, Ava May and Ivy Ann, brought great joy to Eveline. There are photos to come that show that devotion.

Mark and Vanessa are the parents of Eveline’s newest great grandchild, baby Ayden. She might not have met her great grandma, but Eveline did get to rub Vanessa’s tummy not long before she was born.

Part of Eveline’s role as mother and grandmother was watching her sons and grandsons play football. Graham recalls with fondness her cooking Sunday dinner for his football mates. He also remembers a football kit disaster. One week Eveline was given the responsibility of washing the team’s football kit. The whole team’s, not just Graham’s. It arrived in black bin bags. You can guess, or maybe even know where this story is going! Yes, the entire team’s kit went out with the rubbish and was collected, and disposed of, by the bin men.

Eveline didn’t limit herself to supporting football, Rachael with her dancing and netball always had her grandmother as a keen spectator and was kept up to date with Rachael’s netball games. This was all part of Eveline’s way, when she worked as a private nurse for the Sainsbury Family at Hagley House, she managed to get permission for Graham to fish in their private lake.

Eveline would have argued that she wasn’t all that interested in football. This may have been because she was basically force-fed football from all sides. The differing family allegiances might also have had something to do with it!

Graham and his children, Rachael & Kurtis are Chelsea supporters and Jan, Ian, Mark & Alexander are Arsenal fans. Need I say more?

Eveline would say, “I am not that keen on football.” Then she would see something on the TV and would call offside before the ref. She was as sharp as a tack. And always got her calls regarding the beautiful game spot on.

Eveline was close to her extended family too. She spent time with her sisters-in-law even once her brothers had passed on, travelling to Leicester to see Clifford’s wife Margaret and to Manningtree to see Dennis’s wife Christine. She was very fond of them all and kept in touch.

Although she was no gardener, Eveline adored flowers. At one point a trip to Holland was organised, when Jan and Graham were still teenagers. The flight was a nightmare with emergency services lining the runway as they landed. Liver sausage was offered as an apology – and liver sausage became the focal point of the memories of that holiday, rather than the tulips.

On another holiday, this time to Mexico with Jan, Ian, and the boys, there was a disaster. Eveline was always well turned out and was self-conscious about wearing dentures. A broken denture meant she arrived poolside with her hand over her mouth. Alex had already told Jan, who went, ‘Fuck!’ and had fallen off her Lilo!

Ian then said ‘Fuck!” when he heard.

There may have been disapproving looks from Eveline at the language, but it all turned out okay in the end. A dentist was found who could fix the dentures. The drama was forgotten as Eveline came out beaming, not just because the dentures were mended – the dentist had been very charming and extremely handsome.

Eveline had a really special relationship with Jan’s Ian, his infectious laugh would start her laughing. They would be laughing at something, setting each other off and no-one else would know what was so funny. The two of them would laugh and laugh.

Eveline loved a party – she was not really a drinker, but when she was younger, she enjoyed Dubonnet and bitter lemon, then later in life a sweet sherry. What she loved was people watching, seeing ‘my girls’, Jan and her friends, having a laugh. Often, she was the last to leave. Two years ago, she had a great 90th party at Jan and Ian’s house which she thoroughly enjoyed.

She also enjoyed a good joke, even when, or perhaps especially if it was a little colourful. There is a joke about a bear and a rabbit needing to relieve themselves in the woods – many of you may know it. The punchline is when the bear has asked the rabbit if his poop sticks to his fur and the rabbit says no, leading the bear to wipe his bum with the rabbit. Graham told her this joke, using more colourful terms. This had her in tears of laughter. Not just at the telling but whenever she remembered it.

Right up until her death of kidney failure, Eveline had only suffered serious ill health in the last few months of her life. She was still driving until July 2023 in her super smart little Toyota Aygo. She proudly paid cash for it and then was even more proud when her grandsons’ friend called her a gangster for doing so.

When she had to go into hospital in an ambulance earlier this year, she told the paramedics she was perfectly capable of walking and hadn’t been in hospital as a patient, ‘Since I was 47!”

In order to keep her sight so she could keep driving, Eveline bravely endured more than 100 injections in her eyes. Worth it to still be able to drive she would say. Courageous as well as appreciating a stylish car. Graham remembers her having a quite flashy black and white Triumph when they were young. It is easy to imagine her seated in the Triumph with as much panache as she still had in her beloved Toyota Aygo.

Hearing aids were another matter. They didn’t work. She then complained when she forgot them that she couldn’t hear anything. Then when she did wear them, you were in danger of being accused of shouting!

Hugely independent, Eveline filled her later years. She took up card making and crafting as well as enjoying the company of family and friends. Most people here will have received one of her beautiful cards. When she had bought a card with Jan relatively recently, Eveline didn’t know the cost because she hadn’t bought one for thirty years.

Eveline filled her social calendar to such an extent that some weeks she was too busy to fit meeting Jan in! She had joined WI, taking coach trips with them plus seeing friends for coffee or lunch at least three times a week. Sheila, Margaret, and Carol contributed to her frequently being busy every day, even after 90. It was just as well she could still drive until so recently.

Especially as she loved shopping. Marks and Spencer’s in particular. Eveline still frequented the trendy hairdresser and noticed how others were dressed. There is a story of her observing someone else in the restaurant [café?] wearing the same blouse as her – it turned out to be her own reflection in the large mirror on the other side of the room!

Good neighbours, like Angela, Nazma and George helped Eveline stay connected and self-reliant. She never lost her commitment to living usefully and pleasantly with the people around her: family, friends, neighbours and colleagues.

Eveline made the most of life. She liked her treats – Chinese takeaways, occasionally MacDonald’s ‘fillet of fish’ and strawberry milkshake. She could stand firm when she needed to and always remained vibrant and interested in everything. She disliked the cold and really disliked the short, dark days of winter – the lack of light. Being cold was something she avoided like the plague. However, Eveline never suffered from a cold heart and brought warmth to all she knew. She will be missed terribly.

Let me finish this tribute with some words of wisdom from Eveline:

Where ever you are and what ever you are doing, always take a cardigan and a packet of tissues, as you never know.

Visual memories – Music: Circle of Life – Elton John Introduced by celebrant.

Eveline in the words of her family and friends: Let me know share some of the heartfelt condolence messages received:

Eveline was lovely, caring and vibrant.

Happy memories of time spent with her.

Full of kindness and love.

Strong independent, a wonderful neighbour and even better friend.

Will miss her friendship, chat and company on outings.

Fond memories of her enjoying parties.

A beautiful soul.

Special lady greatly missed.

Privilege to have known her.

Time for reflection – Celebrant; we are fortunate to have an original recording of Dennis singing ‘Ol’ Man River’ What a voice.

Choral number: All Things Bright and Beautiful congregation to sing live with choir recording

The Committal/farewell –

Celebrant:

We are coming to the end of this ceremony.

It is time for us to bid farewell to Eveline for the last time.

Hold Eveline in your hearts and memories.

Celebrant addresses coffin:

The peace of the flowing air to you

The peace of the quiet earth to you

The peace of the shining stars to you

And the love and care of us all to you.

Rest now at the end of your days

Rest in the hearts and minds of those you loved.

Farewell Eveline you will be sorely missed.

Closing words –

I hope Eveline would be pleased with the ceremony today, we have kept the talking pretty short, enjoyed some beautiful visual memories and listened to music that she would have enjoyed.

The family wishes to extend deep gratitude to all, for the  prayers, support, comforting messages, calls, flowers cards & gifts during this sad time.

Thank you all for being here, remembering and celebrating the life of Eveline.

To end our ceremony and to accompany us on our way as we take our leave, we will now hear My Way – sung by Frank Sinatra

This just leaves me to wish you a safe journey and ask you to take care of yourselves and each other.