Valerie Abbassi

Eulogy We arrive at the point in our ceremony where we recall details of Valerie’s life, a life full of so many wonderful moments, shared with so many of you, she truly led a full and interesting life which began on the 19 th January 1933 when Valerie was born in West Wickham to parents Lily and Arthur Andrews. Valerie was their second child they had already welcomed Brian her brother and they shared an amazing bond. She was schooled at Hawesdown Primary, but she and Brian were evacuated away from the constant barrage of bombing to family in the North of England when the second world war started in earnest in September 1939. Valerie would have been only 6 years old. Such an impressionable age, living through such a serious historical event would be forever imprinted on Valerie’s soul, she was very proud to have been part of the Great British keep calm and carry on, and would often reminisce about those years to her family, and her choice of reading material reflected her love of the war years. After the war ended, Valerie went to secretarial school, and enjoyed playing tennis at her local Tennis Club in Beckenham, and it was here she met her future husband Faruq. They came from very different backgrounds, they were star crossed lovers, and had to jump through hoops to be together. They were married on the 11 th June 1955, they had a civil ceremony and a blessing, ending with a reception at Selsdon Park Hotel. They then embarked on their honeymoon which found them driving though Europe in a white jaguar. Arriving at the coast to catch a boat to North Africa, they headed to Benghazi and Tripoli, what a wonderful adventure such an amazing start to their marriage. But this was only the start, they moved to the Lebanon, which back in the sixties was much like the French Riviera. Together they lived the high life, frequenting dinners and society parties, many prestigious events, including so many influential people and lots of friends. Valerie had a flare for fashion, wearing the most beautiful dresses she would wear the latest look with ease, she would style her hair looking incredible which earned her the place on the front cover of a Lebanese magazine. Whilst living in the Lebanon they began to welcome their children, Ramsey was their first and he gave Valerie two grandsons, James and Gavin. Valerie was such a wonderful caring and giving mother and grandmother she loved her family beyond anything else in the world. Meanwhile Faruq changed his role as managing director of The Arab Bank to The Lombard Bank, which saw the family return to London, where they moved into Kenward Drive in Beckenham. But Valerie’s travels were not over, they moved again to Abu Dhabi, her two oldest children remained in school whilst a young Omar travelled with them, the family again returned to London to live in the mid-seventies. In 1976 Valerie sadly lost Faruq, and Valerie’s respect for his religion was evident as she went with the children to live in Jordan with Faruq’s parents who, according to the Muslim faith, were now their legal guardians. They all remained in Jordan for a year, then Valerie returned to make a life in London, she became an independent woman, getting a job and making a home and putting the children through school, Rania commented that she had never known anyone as stoic as her mother and this period in their life really reflected that. When Valerie tired of the London life and her eldest children flew the nest, she moved to Beckenham to be closer to her beloved brother Brian and his family. As an aunt she had a special relationship with her niece’s Denise and Marilyn, those relationships were a constant throughout Valerie’s life. Again, she built a life in the suburbs, securing a position as a receptionist at a doctor’s surgery, where she remained for 13 years, making good friends along the way, enjoying lunches and coffee morning whilst reacquainting herself with her close family. Rania had now started a family of her own and although she lived in Mexico and then eventually New York, she was lucky to receive regular visits from Valerie who helped guide and support Rania whilst she was bringing up her children, Gabriella and Javier. It is obvious that Valerie enjoyed travel, and in addition she also enjoyed reading novels particularly those set in the second world war, as I have already mentioned. She loved watching Tennis, or any sports and Wimbledon was always a highlight of her year. Valerie was a tremendous cook and even as her body was giving up, she would supervise Omar in the kitchen, guiding him through recipes from a kind of supervisor position. Omar had never really strayed far from his mum, and always wanted her to feel useful, included and cared for, and therefore was happy to be her sous chef. I suppose you could also say that Valerie is a royalist and adored our Royal Family, although some would say that she gave off a Royal vibe herself, most certainly the queen of her family, she was the quintessential English rose. Although her body failed her in the end, she was always of sound mind, as sharp as a tack, articulate and of course always immaculately attired. She was incredibly thoughtful, kind, generous and always putting others before herself, she was positive and remained calm even in a crisis. Valerie will be greatly missed by all that knew and loved her, but we can take comfort that she has now been reunited with her husband Faruq and her brother Brian. We have mourned the loss of an incredible woman, she was devoted to her friends and cherished her family, and Valerie certainly gave a lot more than she took. In the words of Winston Churchill “ We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give!” . I think we can all agree that Valerie made our lives better and she will be missed forever.